I surfed the website Tiny Budda a little bit – something I haven’t done in a while. Tiny Buddia is a website that provides wisdom, clarity and self help. I used to frequent this website quite a bit when I was going through some really tough times. It was a kind of comfort food and most importantly, it reaffirmed the belief of loving yourself.
Which brings me to one of the posts I came across “How to Stop Neglecting and Abusing Your Inner Child.”
The author, Sharif H Joynson, talks about taking care of your inner child and not neglecting that child the basics of food, sleep and other necessities. Joynson talked about how he denied his inner child these things and the effects it had on him.
I have so often deprived him of sleep, made him go long periods without eating, and failed to keep him adequately hydrated. I have dragged him to work with me and pushed him so hard that he has burned out. I have allowed past girlfriends to abuse him.
And worst still, I have failed to tell him I love him. I have let him feel unloved, unwanted, and unworthy. Because I was continuing a pattern.
Like so many people, I had experiences early in my life that communicated to my inner child that he was not enough. For some people, this manifests as a deep-seated, almost silent belief, whispered into the ear of our inner child that says, “You are not good enough,” “You are not wanted,” or “You are not important.” Ultimately, it’s a feeling of being unlovable.
In my case, this came about from incidents of witnessing and experiencing abusive behavior at home, with my parents’ divorce when I was a five-year-old at the center of it. I later experienced a more subtle emotional neglect by my parents and had experiences with violence.
Joynson recommends providing the basics, giving your inner child gifts and spending time with them. It’s a short, but good read.